“I still question why a child should be ‘owned’ by the man despite the mother birthing the child” – Actress Kemi Lala says

Renowned Nigerian actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has ignited a discussion regarding her views on marriage, childbirth, and the tradition of children adopting their father’s surname.

In a recent public statement, she examined the customs surrounding marriage, particularly the expectation for women to take on their husband’s surname.

Akindoju raised concerns about the presumption that children will automatically inherit their father’s surname and place of origin, emphasizing the significant effects of childbirth on women and questioning the equity of their reduced role in naming decisions.

She highlighted the contradiction with biblical teachings that suggest a man should unite with his wife, thereby challenging cultural practices that prioritize male identity within marriage.

“Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know). Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it,” Akindoju stated.

Additionally, she criticized the societal pressures on women to prepare for a shift in identity upon marriage, while men are generally not conditioned to expect any changes to their names or identities.

She wrote;

“Honestly, if we really want to follow “2 shall become 1”, the couple should merge both surnames. I still question the children automatically coming from the man’s state of origin, his surname, and the fact that the man “owns” the child. The whole thing messes with my head so much, yet it’s the woman who physically goes through a life transforming process to birth the children. Yet, she’s relegated. I may not have the answers, but it troubles my entire being and I am yet to find the scripture that says the woman must take the man’s name. Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know).

“Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it. It’s sha somehow that boys are never raised to think their identity will change, but just because of a woman’s gender she’s raised/socialized to know that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with a name and identity she’s known all her life. I don’t have the answers, but I strongly question this practice.”